OK folks, I know I really blew it on the NYC trip - its was so amazing, and I have only managed to get a couple of days reported. Now time is dulling it, so maybe I need to move in to the present. One of the things I am exploring in this blog is the creative process and getting along in the world, so I am sharing a currently "festering" dynamic.
I would like to explore a totally legitimate difference.
You appreciate our work, are loyal to our work, and give your best to our work, and - it is work. It is your job. You enjoy your job and "have a life". There is nothing wrong with that. I even envy that balance of work, family, play, homebuilding. You are a part of the team, and will give that extra heave-ho, but you are entitled to the rest of your life.
I need to appreciate, and intend on going forward with the understanding - that though your career is a big part of your life, it is not your entire life. You may even end up somewhere else or even a different industry by the time your career peaks. You are still young (that is a compliment, not an insult) Your job is not your entire identity. Your job is not everything you are.
Quid pro quo:
My work is everything I am. It is my entire identity. I have been clawing at it for 46 years ( I started at 4). I do not have "a life". There is no "balance" and I do not seek to find one.
My distress comes from the conflicts these two characters manifest when both at their ends.
I really need to treat people working toward a common goal with great compassion for their lives.
My crazy Quixote journey is mine to bear, not theirs.
Well, OK ... to put things in perspective, I'm going to be 36 or 37 on Monday, I think. I can't quite remember. For the bulk of my life thus far, life came first, and then career. Family didn't even factor in, nor did I ever expect it to. Then suddenly in 2008 I had a family. Honestly, I never expected to see that day. Oddly, since then, my career has ramped up. Now, I'd put family first, career second, and life third. That said, I've lived an amazing and adventurous life thus far, so I don't feel all that bad about putting it on the back burner for a bit. I expect it to re-assert itself at some point in the near future. For right now, I try to maintain an equal balance between my work and my new family. So far, it has worked out. It's not easy,and I don't get nearly the sleep I used to get, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice.
ReplyDeleteYou are one of those rare, bright sparks that we all wonder at and admire. You are an inspiration to us all. Please keep doing what you're doing, because without you, our lives would be without the magic that you create. OX - M, M & Q
Oh my, I meant 46 or 47! I don't even know what decade I'm in. I haven't seen the 30s for quite some time now. And so it goes. Life flies with wings on its heels.
ReplyDeleteThanks M. I think you having a family was a wonderful thing for both your life and career. As I age, I find myself working around more and more people that are not "lifers" (and often younger and less battle worn). I get very frustrated when my character appears "obsessed and manic" and other characters appear "dismissive and spoiled". Neither is the truth, but I think this is how we end up with "nutsy artists" and those who "tolerate" them. I can understand the isolation many designers and artists seek. It sometimes feels like a "no win"
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ReplyDeleteSorry typo...
ReplyDeleteHi Lonnieman,
Thoughtful post, a resonance is here.
I'm thinking of the 'life' part as an 'add on', and will not/ can not diminish the driven art part...and so the room gets very full.
I find sometimes the only balance I get is sleep...awake/sleep. Of course more sleep this decade than in others. xoJ
But then your passion fulfills you, it is your life and a very full life at that, it does not need to be like everyone else's. The breeders need not be jealous! We all wish we could love our jobs as much a you do. YOu are indeed very fortunate. What you do touches our weary soul, for a moment transports and transforms us. That is the power of art.
ReplyDeleteMaia that is why I always say I am 23. You make your conclusions and let me live with my delusions.
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